Love Renewed

Books Are Available!

LOVE RENEWED: 
LOOKING INTO THE HEART AND SOUL OF THE ONE YOU LOVE

A Practical and Romantic Way to Assess and Improve Communication in Your Relationship each Year

This book is an
"Anniversary Inventory."

Learn more . . .

Read a sample from the book. 

Love Can Be Renewed Each Year

Is it your Anniversary and you don't know how to celebrate it?  You want to do something different and special?

Do you feel like you are not as close and as "in love" as when you first married?

Have you lost touch with what's important to your partner and want advice on how to reconnect?

You need help to find the right forum or format to express how your needs are not being met by your partner?

Would you like to feel closer and more in love?

LOVE ReNEWED is your ANSWER:

This book will give you the tool and tips  you are searching for to bring you closer together.  It will allow you to have better communication and to find out how you and your relationship have grown this year and how your love can be enriched and renewed. 

After completing the anniversary inventory during an intimate dinner, couples report an increase in the loving feelings and commitment to one another. This is a process they can repeat year after year.

Try it today.

Wouldn't You Like to Know:

what your loved one is really thinking at least once a year?

a better way to communicate with your loved one?

whether you are meeting the needs of your partner?

what your partner most loves about you?

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18 Questions that Increase Intimacy and Communication

"KISS and TELL" "HoneyMoon Forever"

While attending a recent Wedding Show to announce the publication of Love Renewed-- I heard a bride- to-be pass by my table and say, "Love Renewed  . . . I need to get married first."  "Wow", I thought.  Maybe I have done a poor job of titling the book--because newylweds are the group that may benefit the most and learn even more about their partners using Love Renewed.

Maybe the book should be subtitled:  " Kiss and Tell  (your loved one) What's in Your Heart and Soul"

"Honeymoon Forever with Increased Communication and Intimacy"

"TALK, TALK, TALK Your Way to a Happy Marriage"

"Anniversary Inventory"

With that said, I believe we can all  renew our love with our partners each day through our attitudes and actions.  By answering the 18 questions in the book and sharing your responses with your partner in a romantic setting, that you create, at least once a year, your Love will be richly renewed! 

7 New Year's Resolutions for Increasing Happiness in Your Marriage (or Committed Relationship)

1.  Tell your partner that you love him/her at least once every day.  Don't assume that your partner knows it. Even if your partner shows signs of embarrassment and denies that they need to hear it.  Don't believe it. Do it anyway.

2.  Kiss your partner at least once in the morning and at least once before you go to bed in the evening.

3.  Plan a date night at least once a month where you do something fun.  During the date, talk about each other and your interests, not the kids or your family.

4.  Swallow your pride and put your ego behind you when you know you are wrong. A simple apology will go a long way toward building goodwill and allowing forgiveness.

5.  Communicate not just in words but in actions. Communication can happen nonverbally.  Do loving things for each other. Leo Buscaglia advised, "Put your feelings into action.  Make that favorite food. Send the flowers. Remember the birthday or anniversary. Create your own love holidays to celebrate--don't just wait for Valentine's Day."

6. In the next week or two, find some quiet time to talk about your individual and family goals for this coming new year.  What part do you want your partner to play in supporting or obtaining those goals?

7.   ADD YOUR OWN RESOLUTION TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS--The best idea will win a box of chocolates and a 2008 Love Renewed Calendar. (All entries must be received before 1/31/08 to be eligible for the prizes.) I can't wait to read your ideas for New Year's Love Resolutions!

2007 Copyright. Eliz Joyner

www.loverenewed.net

Love Renewed- IN THE NEWS

www.thirdage.com/news/articles/ALT03/07/10/23/ALT03071023-02.html

http://www.tulsaworld.com/entertainment/article.aspx?articleID=071001_8_D1_hQues63710

www.dundalkeagle.com/articles/2008/02/14/news/news02.txt

Author Appearances

December 2, 2007  Cox Network  "The Verdict"

January 5, 2008  The Tulsa Wedding Show  10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Renaissance Hotel and Convention Center

February 9, 2008  Steve's Sundry Books & Magazines  Author  Book Signing  1- 3 p.m.  Tulsa, Oklahoma

March 7, 2008 Leslie Powell Gallery Author Book Signing 7-9 p.m., Lawton, Oklahoma   (Confirmed)

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR: Eliz Joyner

Why did you write a book about communication?

Sam and I have been answering these same questions for the past 14 years.  Other couples asked me to share the questions so that they could also use them. I decided that if having this opportunity for intimate and structured conversation helped us and our friends then maybe a larger group would benefit from the process. I am saddened by the divorce rate in Oklahoma and the rest of the country and believe better communication between couples can help. I’m also a romantic and want others to have great relationships.

How long did it take you to write?

I joke that I have been working on it for the past 14 years.  I have really been preparing it for publication for the past year and a half.  I was stuck about how to pull two separate booklets (one for him and one for her) together with the instructions and introduction. I attended a “Thought Exchange Workshop” with David Friedman, a songwriter, composer, and author from New York City.

During the workshop, we discussed my being “stuck” and I exchanged the thought, “Success is getting it perfect” for “Success is getting it published.”  After that workshop, I discovered how to put the book together, found a printer, designer, and other wonderful people who helped me. It was amazing how the energy and information came to me.

How long have you been married?

This December we will be married 15 years.

Have you been married before?

Yes, once before. Part of my motivation in writing the book was to make sure this relationship worked and that I had the communication skills to do better.

How can Love Renewed:  Looking Into the Heart and Soul of the One You Love help other couples?

We are so busy with career demands and family commitments.  We rarely take or make the time to have meaningful one-on-one conversations with our loved ones about things that are most important to us.  This book will give couples the opportunity and structure once a year to talk about how they have grown and how their relationship has grown.  The actual questions focus on the individual needs of each person and the needs of the couple.  The questions reaffirm the relationship, but also provide an opportunity to sweep out from underneath the proverbial rug.

Do you think answering these questions will cause couples to fight?

This question is an important one.  My answer is “It could, but it shouldn’t.” Instead of the emotionally charged heat of the moment when an event occurred, you can take the time to thoughtfully write out your thoughts and feelings over the course of a few days. When we do this, we are usually not tempted to use expletives or hurtful words that might have escaped our lips in the heat of battle.  This more thoughtful, reasoned process helps us to better hear each other—when time has passed and cooler heads have prevailed. 

How does the book work?

The book is a hardcover and closes with a strap, like a journal.  Inside, there are instructions and other introductory material which are attached to the spine of the book.  On the back inside page is an accordion folder.  On the face of the accordion folder is a place for a photograph of the couple from the past year.  Inside the accordion folder are two booklets, one for her and one for him.  Each booklet contains the 18 questions that each party will answer individually a week or two before their anniversary or other time they choose. Then follow the instructions on what to do after the questions are answered. The booklets and other anniversary cards and keepsakes can then be put into the folders and then kept securely within the hardback cover and strap.  The book becomes a yearly keepsake.

Question of the Month: Reader Responses Requested

What do you think  is one of the most romantic vaction spots in the world?

Instructions For Love Renewed

Instructions

1. A week or two before your anniversary or at another time that you choose [think end of year, NY Eve, Valentine's Day, etc], each partner will review the Anniversary Inventory, the two booklets each containing eighteen questions.  Notice, the first five questions are different for men and for women.

2.  The first five questions focus on the emotional needs of men and women.

3. Women will answer the questions which address the emotional needs of women. This booklet is labeled “For Her.” Men will answer the questions labeled “For Him.” Ensure you each get the right set of questions.

4. Each partner should write his or her answers to the questions in the booklets over the course of the week(s) leading up to the anniversary or the date chosen to review the Anniversary Inventory questions.

5. It helps to give examples to support your answers. Using events of the past year will enrich the dialogue and make it more meaningful. A few sample answers are provided in the book to show you the way.

6. A rule we made for our Anniversary Inventory is that neither one of

[TO BE CONTINUED :)]

Press Release

Immediate Release:  August 2007

A Tulsa Writer Creates One-of–A Kind Wedding and Anniversary Gift for Couples

Eliz Joyner, a Tulsa-based writer, has created a book for couples called Love Renewed: Looking Into the Heart and Soul of the One You Love. It is a romantic and practical way to enjoy communication and to increaes intimacy in a marriage or committed relationship .

The American divorce rate has nearly doubled since 1960. Knowing communication is vital to a healthy relationship, Joyner found from personal experience that when couples try to communicate they are often interrupted by child rearing and career demands.

The book provides a unique opportunity for couples to keep lines of communication open, to reconnect and renew the spirit of love that first brought the couple together. The idea for the book started when Joyner would ask her husband during their first year of marriage what he was thinking. He usually said “nothing” and then asked about dinner. She was frustrated there was not better communication and put together a list of questions that she and her husband committed to answering once a year on their anniversary. They call it their “Anniversary Inventory."

Friends and other couples asked Joyner to share the questions so often that she decided to publish a book for couples, using the same questions Joyner and her husband have used the past fourteen years. 

Joyner teamed with John Lew and Natalie and Larry Green, Tulsa Wedding Photographers, whose photographs are throughout the book. Joyner said, “I love the use of black and white photography to capture those rare, special, once-in-a-lifetime moments. The photography in the book makes the book even more beautiful.” The book can be pre-ordered by going to imaginpublishing@aol.com and requesting that a copy be reserved and leaving your contact information. The book will be released in  December 2007. It is being published by Imagin Publishing Company, LLC., Tulsa, Oklahoma. The cover design is by George Foster, who designed Chicken Soup for the Soul covers, and the interior work is by Joseph Mercadante, an Oklahoma designer and Bill Groetzinger, a Chicao, Il designer. End

Online Media Room

Title: Love Renewed: Looking Into the Heart and Soul of the One You Love

Publisher: Imagin Publishing Company

Published in Tulsa, OK

Printed in China

Proposed Date of Printing: September 2007

Available Online Ordering: October 2007

Proposed Release Date: January 2008

Number of pages: 80 pages

ISBN:  9780-9785547-7-4

PRAISE FOR LOVE RENEWED

"Statistically, 50% of all marriages will end in divorce and even more struggle
only to count themselves as unsatisfying. Yet, enjoying a happy-ever-after
marriage is a near universal goal. The reality is that love is not enough, we
need skills.

As a marital therapist, I suggest to couples that they are attempting to run a
business without any training, preparation, clear goals or scheduled problem
solving meetings.  Eliz has developed a format that directs and provides a
structure for annual reviews. Love Renewed is positive in approach and
encourages the difficult honesty needed for a relationship to adapt and meet the
changing needs of both spouses. The book is balanced so that both co-owners of
the relationship have an opportunity to express their difficulties and
appreciation.

Eliz is sharing a formula for not only a productive and enjoyable evening, but
also the beginning of a tradition that has the potential to enrich the
relationship annually." 
                                                         ---Kay Butchko, MS LMFT

"Love Renewed is an insightful, provocative guide to reaffirming our relationships with the people who matter most to us and rediscovering ourselves in the process."

                                    ---Teresa Miller, author of Remants of Glory and Family Correspondence

“Couples are so busy with careers and parenting that they often don’t have the couple-time they’d like.  This author has captured a unique opportunity for couples to keep lines of communication open, to reconnect,  and to renew the spirit of love that brought the couple together in the first place.” 

                                           --- Donna Boswell, LCSW

WOMEN ARE ASKING

WOMEN are asking, "How am I going to get my husband to do the Anniversary Inventory?"

Good question 

Simple Answers

1. Men love their cars.  How many times does your husband take his car in for a oil change?  How much does he pay for the oil change?  The Anniversary Inventory is a tune up for the marriage. It is less expensive and more valuable then a tune up or oil change for his car. And, it is only once a year instead of every 3,000 miles.

2.  Men love to be complimented.  In the Anniversary Inventory your husband will learn at least 4 things you most love about him, with specific examples.

3.   Most Men Prefer a Passionate Relationship.  In the Anniversary Inventory, he will get to talk to you about a night or day of passion that you shared that most excites him.

4.  Men love to have their emotional needs met.  In the Anniversary Inventory, he can explain what needs are being met and which ones are not. 

5.  Men do not like to be mindreaders.  In the Anniversary Inventory, they don't have to be.  The questions will allow them to learn more about their loved one's needs, desires, and thought processes.  No more guessing.

These are just a few benefits and reasons men will find doing the Anniversary Inventory-just once a year-- something they look forward to.

WHAT IS THE LOVE RENEWED ANNIVERSARY INVENTORY?

People are asking, “What is Love Renewed?”

Simply put, it is a book that gives couples a one-of-kind opportunity to answer questions that explore thoughts and feelings that they may not have had the time to verbalize or to continue discussions interrupted by career demands or child rearing.  It is an opportunity to reveal hurt feelings or fantasies that they were too shy or unwilling to share during the year.  The book also questions our thoughts about individual and family goals. The structure of these questions allows couples to discuss issues and topics for which they might not otherwise find the time.

The questions are based on love needs of men and women as well as things I just wanted to know as a wife. Wanting to know if I was meeting my husband’s expectations as a wife, lover, friend and mate, I would often ask my husband during that first year of marriage, “What are you thinking?”  He was usually irritated that I asked. I was frustrated when he would say “nothing” or reply, “Do you have any ideas for dinner.”  What I really wanted to know were his answers to the questions which are in this book. 

Now at least once a year, I know what he is thinking.  He, too, enjoys using this format to his express his thoughts and feelings.  We call these questions our “Anniversary Inventory.”  Each year before our Anniversary we each take our set of questions and answer them privately.  Then  . . .  (to be continued)

Coming Next:   Instructions for Using Love Renewed:  Looking Into The Heart and Soul of the One You Love.

SHARE YOUR LOVE STORY

This is an invitation for couples to share their love stories and their secrets for staying married. Share your story today. You just might help another couple who could use your words of wisdom. And, at least one story will be featured on this website and in the next edition of Love Renewed Looking Into the Heart and Soul of The One You Love.

Eliz Joyner

imaginpublishing@aol.com

Anniversary Inventory

ANNIVERSARY INVENTORY 2007

  Communication- the exchange of ideas and thoughts between one person and another to gain a greater understanding of the other's thoughts and feelings.

The book Love Renewed is about communication between couples in a committed relationship.  It is a book for people who love one another and for those who want to explore their deeper thoughts and feelings at least once a year.

Renew Intimacy

Reconnect with the one you love

Recall what first brought you together

Whether you have been together one year or 40 years, this book provides an opportunity to learn more about your loved one. Love Renewed is available in Fall 2007. 

Wouldn't you like to Know

what your loved one is really thinking at least once a year?

a better way to communicate with your loved one?

whether you are meeting the needs of your partner?

what your partner most loves about you?